Sin Comentarios...

Aun creo q las ocurrencias son ilimitadas...

A Big Smile

I always liked this kind of art work.. you know.. the way people like to spend their time just to makes laugh.. dont you think?

Some old, some new, but funny

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexynightie.
"Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."
So he tied her up and went golfing.
***********************************************

A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house.
She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack yourbags. I won the damn lottery!"
The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountainstuff?"
"Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get the hell out." ***********************************************

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband. ***********************************************

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, ofcourse, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters: 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'
"Can you read this?"
the optician asked. "Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy." ************************************************

Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."
"Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of chardonnay."
************************************************

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Putin some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER?
They're going to STICK!
Careful .. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! YouNEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are youCRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"
The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don'tknow how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving." **************************************************

Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army.
On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb.
That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.
On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush.
That afternoon the Armydentist yanked seven of his teeth.
On the third day, the Army issued him a jockstrap.
The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.

Hombres.. Por que!!!

¿POR QUE LOS HOMBRES CIERRAN LOS OJOS DURANTE EL SEXO?
Porque no soportan ver a una mujer disfrutando...

¿POR QUE LOS HOMBRES NO CONFIAN EN LAS MUJERES?
Porque no confían en alguien que sangra 5 días seguidos y no se muere...

¿QUE SERIA UN HOMBRE SI TUVIERA UNA NEURONA?
un genio...

Y DOS NEURONAS?
un superdotado...

¿POR QUE LOS HOMBRES NO PIENSAN?
Porque tienen un hoyo en la cabeza...

¿POR QUE DICEN QUE LAS MUJERES SOMOS BRUJAS?
porque podemos hacer que se levante una 'barita' sin tocarla...

¿POR QUE LOS HOMBRES SE SIENTAN CON LAS PIERNAS ABIERTAS?
para no aplastarse el cerebro...

¿POR QUE LOS HOMBRES NO TIENEN MENOPAUSIA?
Por que nunca salen de la adolescencia...

¿QUE ES LO QUE NUNCA LE DEBES DE CREER A UN HOMBRE?
1- mañana te pago
2- me quede trabajando hasta tarde
3- la puntita no mas
4- la primera vez no pasa nada

¿POR QUE LOS HOMBRES SON HOMBRES Y LAS RATAS SON RATAS?
Porque las Ratas escogieron primero...

¿POR QUE ES LO MISMO TENER UN PERRO QUE TENER UN HOMBRE?
Porque a los dos les hablas, te miran y hasta parece que te entienden... y los dos para conseguir algo mueven la colita...

¿POR QUE NO DEBEMOS DE DECIR 'HOMBRES ESTUPIDOS'?
Porque es un pleonasmo...

¿POR QUE EXISTEN LOS TRASVESTIS?
Por que hasta ellos se arrepienten de ser hombres...

"Entre mas conozco a los hombres, mas quiero a mi perro"
"No todos los hombres son iguales... pero ah! como se parecen"
feminista yoooooooooooo?
Feminista Dios que los hizo inferiores!
jajajaja, pero saben que?....
no podemos vivir sin esos desgraciados....!!!!!!!!!!